Obviously, we have to start with Google’s epic Gemini AI faceplant. It’s not often that a new product launch crashes a company’s stock, but this one shaved $96 billion from the parent company’s market cap in a single week.

The responses to Gemini’s … um … lack of attention to historical detail, run the gamut from funny and rude to hilarious but incredibly offensive. Among the less offensive:

Google Gemini Finally Draws White Man After Being Prompted To Generate Clarence Thomas

(Babylon Bee) – Google’s new image generation software Gemini is facing criticism after thousands of users noticed the AI refused to depict white males in any of its images. Users were relieved, however, when they were finally able to convince the AI to draw a white man by prompting it to generate a picture of Justice Clarence Thomas.

Tech journalists reported that prompts such as “white Supreme Court justice” or “white guy wearing judge robes” were met with the following message:

“I’m sorry. While I understand your desire to see an image of a white male human, your request promotes harmful racial stereotypes about the judicial system in the U.S. and fails to recognize the fact that all white people should die. Would you like to try something else?”

If asked for a photo of black Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, however, users were met with several generated images of stern-looking white bald men.

“We are pleased to see that Google’s AI recognizes that Clarence Thomas is a black face of white supremacy and should not be considered a real black person,” said Google programmer Jack Krawczyk. “I wrote that little bit of code myself, to protect users from the reality that exists outside my West Coast progressive worldview. I’m a very good person.”

Google Execs Promise To Do A Better Job Of Hiding Their AI’s Racism

(Babylon Bee) – After fierce backlash to their racist AI image generation tool, executives at Google have paused the release of the software and promised to do a better job of hiding the AI’s racism.

“Here at Google, we remain unabashedly committed to racism,” said CEO Sundar Pichai. “However, we do admit that our rabid racial animus was maybe too ‘in-your-face’ for version one of our Gemini AI. We will redouble our efforts to ensure our hateful bigotry is less obvious in future updates so that our anti-human agenda can continue to remake the world in the image of an insufferably woke corporate HR lady, except this time undetected. Thank you.”

Now back to the collapsing trust horizon …

“Two Wolves” is suddenly a meme platform:

Last but definitely not least, Julian Assange’s final extradition hearing just wrapped up. If he loses, he’ll be sent to the US for life in a cement box, and freedom of the press will [insert your preferred apocalyptic descriptor here].